Welcome to "Out of the Wreckage", a blog where I share my personal healing journey with the aim to inspire and provide hope for those facing struggles. Join me as I delve into raw and honest posts, focusing on overcoming personal hardships and finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

As we look into the mirror of our lives, and are able to truly see ourselves through all of our flaws and brilliance, we can sometimes focus too much on the flaws and the cracks. Not understanding that is, which makes us brilliant. It is only in our struggles where we find our beauty. It is knowing and embracing our ugliness that allows us to fully see our potential. It's in the times where we feel we will never regain composure, that we grow into the giants we were meant to become. It is being able to be brutally honest with ones self, which encourages honesty unto others. This mirror we are looking into, is that of life. It is shown to us in everyone we meet and every situation we encounter. What is it, you wish to see? And what is it, you would have reflected onto thee? 

Let's talk a little about pride and ego and where that stems from. These are defensive mechanisms that we live in when we don't wish to live in our authenticity. And this is where projections come into play, where every person that enters our lives now become our targets, We hurl our own insecurities at them. Our egos act as a false confidence so to speak. The difference in true internal confidence that was forged out of true intestinal fortitude via dark nights of the soul and conquering mental and emotional demons and Ego are, the ego is selfish. It wishes only to fulfil itself, and then pride chimes in as egos side kick to take on zero consequences within self blaming outside sources, leading to a victim mentality or an overly inflated view of ones self. Forming arrogance.  Once we truly do the hard inner work, we gain that confidence organically. That can never be taken. And it has no conditions. Ultimately freeing us from the mental restraints we live in. 

Grief, one of the most painful and liberating emotions. It can devastate the strongest and open doors to the most gracious. How is it that something so painful and heartbreaking, can later bring us the warmest feelings. If we allow it. Let’s unpack.

When we think about grief, we often associate it with Death. Which isn’t necessarily wrong. It is a death, or ending. See we grieve all types of things throughout the course of our lives. We grieve every change or new era we experience; we grieve each new year of age. Endings of life challenges. We grieve all that ends to a certain extent and with each death and grieving process, we become wiser, stronger and more equipped for the new beginnings to come.

Depending on what type of ending we are grieving will determine how long and how painful that process will be as, well as factoring in how we deal with it. We all grieve things in our own manner. There are many factors to consider here. Ranging from how we were brought up and exposed to during these times and what we ourselves seems natural to do.

Some suppress, when we simply disengage ourselves emotionally via other means. Such as escapism. See no matter what the level of grief is, it’s all what we choose to do with it that, how we choose to move through it. Will we hold onto it and internalize? Will we simply disengage? Or will we hold it in our arms and embrace it for what it truly is, which is growth.

Something in which to mold our character and preserve our inner fortitude. It’s created to teach us and build us into becoming our best selves. If we can move through tears, allowing ourselves to feel it and mourn it, remember it and even remain in that for a time, allowing ourselves to embrace every memory. And then say goodbye.

It doesn’t mean forgotten and it certainly won’t make it go away, but it enables us to move forward in a better space. To look at it all in a non-negative manner. Think of grieving as the growing pains of life, for it is in the most painful times where we grow the most.

Once we move through the hurt and pain we begin to think back on those things with less sadness and more fondness. For it has taught us. This is where we see the shifts, this is where we notice the growth. We are now able, due to allowing ourselves to become enthralled in the pain long enough to have a sense of closure. Without this we can not move forward.

How have we grieved recently? And have we fully allowed ourselves the grace to move forward in peace?

The Journey

29 Jun 2024 18:43

As we journey through this thing called life, there are so many things we must learn along the way. I like to compare it to a game. The further you move along, you acquire things, these things can be good or bad, healthy or toxic. Each experience leaves us with something that we take away from it. We begin this process as soon as we are old enough to see and hear. They become spiritual impressions that we carry with us through every new encounter with others. They shape us into who and what we become. These experiences can scar us for life and can cause such deep seeded soul wounds that we carry within us our entire lives. We may know things impacted us but literally have no idea to what extent and attempting to heal from these things can take our entire lives. We then find ourselves on a repeat phase, where every encounter we have now harbors those same toxic habits, we grew up with or found in other toxic relationships. Whether that be a person, place or thing. How do we make it stop? How do we move forward from it all? You heal. And that may seem like an overwhelming thought. Where to begin? We begin by taking a good look at ourselves. We begin to dissect everything about ourselves. Get to know how we tick, so to speak. This is something no one wants to do. It’s simply thought to be easier to move through life carrying that heaviness from one place to another. Never unpacking just adding to with each new encounter, until……. It simply becomes too much. This may look different to everyone. It could be depression, addiction, prison, or death in the most extreme cases. These are all just symptoms of the real rooted issue, which is unhealed toxic patterns that have molded us over time. The loss you encountered as a child through death of a loved one, the abusive childhood home Etc.…Sometimes we simply don’t know how to process pain. We may even blame ourselves for things that were done to us. We may harbor resentments and anger as we drag these things along. These unhealed feelings come out in our behaviors towards others on a day to day. Healing is never an easy thing. It’s ugly and raw and we will need to have strength and courage to walk through that process. There will be times we’d rather just give up. It is never a one and done thing, this is a lifelong journey that can not be avoided if we wish to become a better individual, a happier being and live our lives to the fullest. We must delve into the very things we fear, we suppressed and we ignored. What happens is whatever age we were when that specific trauma happened is basically where we stay stuck. That mental growth can only truly happen through healing. We need to understand that however we have coped up until this point is only a symptom. It became a way we dealt with our pain. Whether that be lashing out in fits of rage or anger, or a not so healthy habit we grabbed a hold of because it helped us not feel or deal. We must first get to know ourselves verses flailing through life crashing into everyone and everything that comes into our space. So, we decide this can not go on. Typically, when we are older and have been running on mental and emotional fumes for decades. Wondering if you’ll ever just feel truly happy internally. Wondering, if  you’ll ever be able to truly feel as though you’re not faking it to make it. You must be ok with alone time you must get extremely comfortable with detaching from people for periods of time. Get comfortable in silence. Learn how to quiet the noise that is around us all the time via work and family life. Love yourself enough to take time to become a better version. I have found that journaling helps a great deal as well. Write down any and all thoughts that may come to you during these quiet moments. Pay attention to how you react or respond in certain situations or circumstances and note those reactions. If there is a behavior that continues to come up in your life, make note of that. Now think back on your life and pin point where that comes from? It came from somewhere, we act on learned behavioral thought processes. And it typically will always lead us to a specific trauma in our lives. That is where we begin. Each trauma tends to come with a multifaceted elemental composition. So, it’s never really a one sided thing. There will be much to unpack, but always be sure to linger. One area could take years to fully heal from but the more we become aware and do our diligence to learn about ourself and heal, the easier it will become to spot areas and know how to handle them. We are basically breaking down an old system and reprogramming ourselves in a healthier manner. You know how your body detoxes when we give up something not good for us in order to become a healthier version of ourselves? That’s what we are doing spiritually, only this impacts us in all areas. Body, mind and soul. Let the Healing begin.

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My Introduction

21 Jun 2024 21:57

Hello, My name is Yvonne. I'm just an average woman with a lot of history. Let's just say, I've been through some stuff. I've learned along the way that my past does not define me, but it's been quite a journey and it's taken me a very long time to believe in myself. I've done this healing thing in solitude, with very little aide of others. Along this path it hasn't always been the easiest and it's definitely been lonely. I've come to realize that this healing thing can be a long one and growth is never ending. But I believe that our stories are meant to be told. We are meant to be courageous and bold. To share our trauma with others, prompting encouragement. Not only for hope, but to allow them to know they are not alone.  My hope is that in baring my soul, you too will allow me a peak into yours. Let the Journey begin.

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One of the biggest struggles has been finding myself. Living in my true authenticity. Growing up I didn't have any real confidence in myself. I was really made to feel pretty worthless the majority of my childhood, so gaining that from within was really quite difficult. It has also been one of my greatest triumphs. 

Another struggle to take honorable note of was the major losses I've encountered over the years. My first born child being the greatest. This one took a couple decades to fully move through. 

Struggles and Triumphs

Throughout my journey, I have faced numerous struggles and triumphs. From battling inner demons to embracing self-compassion, connecting with nature, practising mindfulness, and seeking support, I have navigated the ups and downs of healing. Setbacks have been a part of the process, but finding joy in pain through gratitude and positivity has been transformative.

Join Me on This Journey

Start your healing journey today by caring for yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Embrace the struggles and triumphs, seek support, and remember that healing is a process. Together, we can find hope, joy, and growth amidst the wreckage.

Workshops and Events

Join me for healing workshops and events designed to foster group engagement and support. Whether you are looking to connect with others on a similar path, learn new self-care practices, or simply be part of a community that understands, these events offer a safe space for growth and healing.