I couldn't share my story and all the lessons I've seemingly deciphered on my own, without speaking on my strong spiritual connections. This will not be the average journey, by no means and it is not an "organized religious" spirituality. It is also not one that was shown to me by the outside world. It's one that has grown and flourished inside of me from as far back as I can remember. This page will be dedicated to walking you through How my spiritual beliefs took root and the role it has played in my healing.
The Spiritual Side of the Journey
The practical uses of what I'd been spiritually taught, aided me throughout my life. It also helped me to understand that all the betrayal and seemingly unfair pain that I'd encountered over the years, was simply more education in not only inner growth, but for the ones that would inflict this hurt and pain as well. Learning from a young age what different energies felt like helped me move in the dark, which is where a majority of my life dwelled.
It equipped me with inner wisdom that went unnoticed by the world around me. Being someone who truly only had myself to trust. I leaned into this guidance. I paid very close attention to things most never notice. You have to understand that I was made to feel isolated a great deal of my life and spending time alone only heightened my knowing of things.
Connective Tools
As my spiritual journey grew stronger, I found myself drawn into certain practices as well as tools of divination. The metaphysical became a passion. I was drawn to crystals and the different useful energies they emit. I began to work with Tarot and Oracle and most recently, runes. I’m huge into sigils and believe they hold much power for inner strength and wisdom, much like the Druids.
I found the cards and runes to be a fun interactive type thing that just felt like a board game with the spiritual realm to be honest. I’d do readings for friends here and there. I love Pendulums too and have several. But really a necklace works just as well. (Something you wear regularly is optimal.)
I work with the moon and its different phases; the sun and the elements are huge in my spiritual practice. Depending on what I wish to do, whether it be grounding my energies in the earth, lighting up my auric field with the sun, energizing under the moon, blowing away negativity in the wind, releasing through fire, or cleansing in the waters, all of these natural elements hold a vital place in my life.
I’ve come to understand over the years that all of this is necessary in order to feel revitalized. In saying that, I need to say this, Spirituality and healing go hand and hand and one is not known before the other. Meaning, it was only during my healing journey certain pieces of knowledge and guidance were given.
I could never have jumped straight into the spiritual. I mean I guess one could, but you’d gain most knowledge through others journeys. Such as reading material, or ministries. I feel gaining it organically directly through source, or the spiritual realm as a sort of initiated gift, is a much greater way. (personally)
I believe it to be the right way, because we each have our own very unique journeys, so what one knows to be the way for them, may be different for another. We are not meant to form into others destinies. Walking in the spiritual realm calls for a sound mind and a healed or pure heart. It demands one knows one’s self entirely. And has battled their inner demons, killed the ego and walks in authenticity which can not be achieved without healing any internal conflicts one may have. I also feel it to be extremely dangerous any other way.
Along the way, I have found many tools that aide me in not only connection with the spiritual realm, but also proving healing for myself and others around me. I work with herbs of all kinds and love to incorporate it into my cooking, my cleaning, and into bath salts, teas and oils.
I also enjoy and find very fascinating, energy healing. This leads into transmuting and knowing how to do that. Basically, making unwanted energies work for you. Let me just add that I have never researched any of these things that I have knowledge to or the tools that I work with. This is also why I’m a firm believer that one should allow this to be an individual journey.
The way I look at the world and all I have overcome, looks very different than it once did. The more years that went by and the more experiences I encountered gave me a faith so powerful, it cannot be shaken. I am rooted in the guidance and support that I have been consistently shown from the spiritual realms through the course of my life.
My first encounters with the spiritual realms came to me at a very young age. I was only around 4 or 5 and it made itself known, more as a “feeling” (I know now it was a mix of energy and an internal knowing.) I used to feel things around me. At first it scared me and I’d cry and hide under the covers. But every time I would feel that fear, I’d also feel a sense of comfort which took that fear away. I began to trust this unknown energy around me. I never felt completely alone. I began to realize, I wasn’t.
This energy and I became close and I began to engage with it through talking. I couldn’t physically see anything at this point. I only “felt” and heard an internal speaking. It felt like it came from my stomach area rather than my head. Thinking back on it now, even when that happened, I was never scared. It just felt so comfortable being in this energy that had become a regular presence in my life. As time went on and I got older, in my early teens, things shifted a bit. There were other energies that came and went.
Some energies I noticed felt very different from the ones that brought me comfort and were more of a constant for me. Some felt very frightening. Those never stayed long and I realize now, it was there to help me understand the feelings behind certain energies. I know now those energies were tempering me and teaching me how to decipher ones that could be dangerous or harmful to me, while still being protected by the comforting ones that stayed near me.
As the years went on the things I now refer to as "gifts" heightened. I was now feeling things around others that was confusing at first, but now know I was reading energies. With this gift comes a double-edged sword. In feeling one’s energy. Because Energy has a voice of its own. When these gifts first began, I spoke out on them. Not being able to prove how I knew certain things caused a great deal of issues for me in any and all relationships with others. I wasn't sure what to do with it all.
It was as though the spiritual realm was raising me. In a world where I seemingly never fully fit in, I began to notice the constants. I began to witness the ones who harmed me go through many trials. I kept these things to myself. In my early teens things began to change. I started to ask for specific signs that were given nearly instantaneously. I knew things that I had no idea of how I knew, or why. During this time the information was given as more of a lesson, meaning I’d be given information or a knowing about a person, place or thing and it would be confirmed or come out maybe days or weeks later.
As I grew older, I began to not only sense these energies, I could now see them. I could see things around people as well as hear them. Just having an internal “knowing” about things I shouldn’t know started to become a normal thing, as well. And it always caught me off guard when it would happen. There were times I’d simply walk by a total stranger and get images and flashes of things in my mind’s eye. Or even feel a dark energy attached to them.
Trying to maneuver through this spiritual thing that I didn’t choose as well as live in the madness that I lived was extremely challenging for me at times. But it has also been what has saved me from myself time and time again. It has been the one and only constant in a life where there was no consistency. During my darkest weakest moments, I’ve physically felt the embrace of energies that I couldn’t physically see.
As time went on, I have built a true, loving and trusting relationship with the spiritual realm. I have grown to honor not only the ones who came before me. But fully embrace their guidance in my life. I walk in areas of light as well as hold hands with the dark. I live my life in the balance of both. Which has not been an easy mission at times.
Through my intense relationship with the spiritual beings, I call family I have been shown new ways of literally thinking and feeling. Over the course of my life, I have been guided and redirected many times. I’ve been called to do things in the name of not only healing but my spiritual growth that have been painful, but have always shown worth it in the end.
I know that in a world where distraction is the normal and no one can turn things off, this can be hard to understand. But from the life of solitude, I have been placed in over the course of my life, some willingly and some not so much, I feel was an intentional thing. I now look back on the hard things that I've encountered as a type of spiritual training. I’d never know the things I know now, had I not been placed in the situations I was.
I’d never have the faith in which I do. I’m not entirely sure of where or what my mission is here on Earth, but I do know that sharing it with others burns in my soul. And I know that I have an army that walk with me on this journey.
Let’s dive into the light and dark aspects of the healing journey and the term “battling our demons.” This will fall under my spiritual page due to my own personal take on things and how I have related to it on my journey. It is always the goal during healing and spirituality to balance these energies and they are very real energies, ones we would be wise to learn and understand, as well as command.
We can only command through respect within these energies. They are both mental and physical due to their presentations. Mental aspects refer to the traumas we have experienced and the physical are the attachments that come with sustaining this energy for any substantial period of time.
The longer one remains in a stagnant energy without attempting to grow and move forward through the struggles, the lower the vibrational frequency which opens one up to spiritual attack from the darker realms. You will be challenged and tormented, as well as seduced by things that are harmful for us. We can be taken over to a point where we are no longer in control of ourselves and become lost. Via addictions, abuse and other negative vices.
Sometimes we are aware this is happening but too weak to do anything. This is another reason awareness of one’s self is vital. So, we go into the darkness of ourselves, or into our shadow side which is where we dive into our wounded places and begin to feel them again, live them, mourn them and battle them in order to move forward and be free from the pain and control they hold over our lives.
Battling the demon that controls the attachment of these pains. There could be one or many. With each one we conquer; we gain respect from the darker realms. (Some of us already may hold rank and high honor in the dark realms via the soul in which they harbor.) (Some may be born of that realm or attached via lineage.)
As we move through each dark night of the soul, we gain favor in the light realms too. As we are reliving these past experiences, we start to become more aware of ourselves and begin a more intimate relationship. We are more conscious of what are our own individual feelings and emotions and thought processes. Making it difficult to be taken off guard by energies remaining within us, as well as, outside of us, to get a foothold.
We must always understand that our lives are spiritual, wrapped in the physical. The physical is a distraction, it is the soul that’s reality. The battle is within. Make no mistake, this is and will be a lifelong journey.
As we heal and move through our pain and turmoil we are achieving higher honor in both spiritual realms. Making alleys to aid on future endeavors. This is beneficial as we move through this physical realm of smoke and mirrors, this is where we hone our intuition. This is where spiritual gifts are born and or awakened.
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